Heaven is full of tiny ponies.

Speaking of tiny ponies, I have something to say. I was a Christian a long time ago. A devout one. A fundamentalist one. A brainwashed one. A very, very naive and innocent one. From the time I was 16 until I started cursing, sinning, and spitting fire again at 26. By then my intellect kicked in and I started questioning. Reasoning. Calling bullshit on the hypocritical veil.

Without going into details, I’m not one now. I like to think I’ve evolved past all that. For a while – up until just recently, actually – I told people I was agnostic. I wanted to be openminded. Open minds are good, right? The hallmark of an educated, curious person. If someone could prove there is a god, I would be open to believing it. And the whole concept of deism seems like a pleasant compromise.

But in considerations of late, I now think agnosticism is for wusses. People who are afraid to take a point-of-view. People who fein an open mind because they’re scared of pissing off Christians (or Muslims or Jews – take your god-fearing pick). Because hey, there’s always a chance they’ll convert. Maybe if I prosletyze a little harder or burn the Qur’an or pray with them in public and cry and yell and speak in tongues or paint a more compelling portrait of ‘heaven’ and Jesus, they’ll see the light. Maybe, just maybe.

But no. No, I won’t. Because now I’m putting my foot down. Enough with the wishy washy. Enough with the commitmentphobia. No more flimflam.

I am an atheist.

For a plethora of reasons that I won’t go into here, in my opinion, the world would be better off without religion or god. While money might be the root of all evil, religion is the wind that carries the evil seeds.

I know, I know. Religious groups do good things, you say. Beautiful things! Wonderful things! They love and give and care for the sick, the hungry, the poor. But I would argue that the collective harm they’ve committed across the ages is greater than the cumulative good.

But anyway, back to the tiny ponies. I heard someone say recently that their new interest in god and Christianity was because they were getting older. Because at 60-ish, they were disappointed with life in general, and wondered “Is this all there is?”

I’ve linked to it twice and I’ll link to it again: if you haven’t read this piece on tiny ponies, do it now (but come right back!). Because here’s my answer to this person’s question: You’re joking, right? Yes, this is all there is. And it’s fucking awesome. We’re living in the age of the Jetsons, for chrissake. We’re living with technology now that would make Luke Skywalker jealous. Okay, maybe not, but still it’s incredulous. Why? Because of tiny ponies. Life is full of tiny ponies. The natural world is full of tiny ponies. Science is full of tiny ponies. Technology is pregnant with litters of tiny ponies. Hell, people are sometimes tiny ponies themselves.

For god’s sake, people, open yer blasted eyes!

Those who know me well know me as sarcastic and darkly cynical with a penchant for acerbic wit. One whose favorite quote is “L’enfer, c’est les autres” but who also acknowledges that sometimes, heaven is other people, too. One who loves the sick, twisted, offensive humor of Quentin Tarantino and uses the ‘F’ word way more than she should.

So it’s unusual for me to wax sappy and all shinyhappypeople about anything, but this is different. Is this all there is? Really? REALLY?! Yeah, man. This is all there is. All these wonders of the fucking universe for our very eyes to see. With modern science revealing more and more of them every day. And you, me, and everybody else alive to see it all, if we’ll only pay attention. It’s fricking awesome. Just the privilege of living, with all its downsides, is heaven enough for me.