Jesus.

This from The Stranger’s Last Days:

SATURDAY, APRIL 22 Nothing happened today, unless you count the widely reported case of the Oregon man who got all hopped up on methamphetamine then shot himself 12 times in the head with a nail gun, after which he was rushed to Portland’s Oregon Health & Science University, where doctors peeled back his face and removed the nails with needle-nose pliers and a high-speed drill, all of which the man miraculously survived. The moral is clear: Meth makes you invincible.