Nasty Golden Retrievers and the MFA.
I love that I get home before Will sometimes now that I no longer spend three hours a day on the goddamn train. It means I get first look at notes left by our dogwalker, Matt.
Thanks, Guys!
We ran into a nasty golden retriever I’m not fond of and Oslo went nuts.
Thx,
M.
Will and I are well aware of this psycho golden. An anomoly, as goldens are generally friendly and docile. This one, though, an unfortunate fixture in our neighborhood, has had it out for Oslo since the day they first laid eyes on each other. And obviously, other dogs too, since Matt the dogwalker doesn’t like him, either. So it’s not just us.
At first, Oslo –by all accounts a pretty well-tempered, stable dog– just ignored him, casting a “Dude, did you forget to take your meds?” glance across the street every time the Nasty Golden Retriever would go berserk. But after repeated assaults, he now, unfortunately, reacts in crazed, manic kind, probably feeling the need to protect his territory (in Seattle, he was the King of Queen Anne; in Baltimore, he’s King of Bolton Hill). Weimaraners are generally outgoing, friendly, loving dogs, but they’re fearless and fiercely loyal. With their firm, regal musculature, they make a formidable opponent when in dominant aggressive mode. I would not cross an angry Grey Ghost.
Dogs are funny like that. I watch these two beasts of mine and every day remark how much humans act like dogs. Take the Nasty Golden Retriever for example. In human parlance, we’re talking toxic personality. Undoubtedly, every one of us has had reactions similar to Oslo’s to another human being. I have had….hmmm, really only one or two Nasty Golden Retrievers in my life. The most toxic one – whose slimy, greasy, ugly mug I don’t care if I ever see again – was mentioned in conversation with my friend Wesley last night who is in the last stretches of earning his MFA. For two years while I was in grad school, I would eagerly await the traffic report each morning on KUOW, hoping to hear the description of this guy’s car in relation to a fatal car accident; never before or since have I experienced such visceral hatred. Terrible, I know, but such is human nature. Anyway, Wesley and I are both convinced that MTV should do a Real World Design MFA. Getting a graduate degree in design is so incredibly melodramatic and stressful, the writers would never lack for great content.
Two years of intense competitition and pressure, with, in my case, the constant presence of a short, narcissistic, sociopathic asshole make for some really good stories in retrospect, but living through them was enough to inspire anxiety-medication addiction and thoughts of violent revenge. Worthy of a collection of essays, though, I think. This could be good.