Was Zum Teufel?!
Tues Jul 01 – During this week of Obama flip-flopping, California burning, the phone companies confirmed legally entitled to our phone conversations, and al-Maliki wanting us Americans the hell outta there, this week begins with my changing the timing of this regularly scheduled program. I will now write on the weekends, recording from Saturday thru Sunday.
It also began with the two poodles upstairs getting yelled at. We hear les deux caniches every day, padding and scratching around upstairs. It’s annoying. Oslo and Mies are like, dude, get those goddamn poodles some pedicures!
Anyway, we don’t know why they were in trouble. We just heard the woman upstairs yelling at them. Mies was all, Whew! I’m not the only dog who can’t keep his nose clean.
Wed Jul 02 – While the poodles were being verbally abused, a bunch of hostages were being freed in Columbia. Oslo heard this when it first broke on NPR and asked, "Mom, what’s a hostage?" When I gave him the definition, he stopped nursing on his sucky, thought for a minute, and then glared at me, his eyes rectangular punch cuts of amber. "Oh, you mean like me and Mies? Would we be considered hostages? I mean, walking in leashes, chains – what’s the fucking difference?"
Thurs Jul 03 – Nothing happened today, unless you count Oslo going to the pharmacy for his anti-anxiety medication in preparation for tomorrow’s fireworks.
Fri Jul 04 – In today’s news, that racist bastard Jesse Helms died. While I don’t generally condone the celebration of another human being’s death, this might be an exception. RIAA, Jesse (e.g., Rest in Agony, Asshole).
Today also brought the fireworks, from which Oslo was kept far, far away. We left him and Mies at home with many noise-cancelling fans blaring to go see Wall-e, a little creature we thought must be related to Mies, although we’re not sure how. I just know that if Mies died and came back as a space creature, he would definitely be all over anything having to do with trash.
Speaking of dogs and space creatures, Oslo, we think, is a cross between Chewbacca, C3PO, and Astro (from the Jetsons). Why these three characters? Because they, like Oslo, like to talk a lot.
On a more serious note, this post is dedicated to my friend Lisa’s standard Poodle, Kato (pictured above). He passed away this spring. Nous t’aimons, caniche. Nous t’aimons toujours.