Was Zum Teufel?!
Tues Jun 24 – Whoa. During these past three weeks of my falling behind on my blog, tons of stuff has happened, like tornadoes touching down waaaay to close to our apartment, Obama winning the nomination, Oslo turning four, and the Olsen Twins pissing off PETA.
That’s right, Mary-Kate and Ashley, dubbed the "Trollsen Twins" by PETA, are on the organization’s shit list because they continue to wear fur and include it in their designer clothes lines.
Oslo and Mies are cool with it, though, as long as they don’t sport Weimaraner fur. Which, actually, if you think about it, would make a beautiful coat. All silvery grey and sleek like that…. Dressed up with a pale pink scarf and a pair of patent leather pumps, maybe. Hmmmm….
Wed Jun 25 – Today starts with a piece of news that’s actually not news anymore because it’s two weeks old. Anyhoo, it’s about Weims and not sharing. I was letting both boys lick a homemade peach popsicle simultaneously when Mies all of a sudden bit Oslo on the nose. Oslo was as shocked as I was, but he just kind of stood there in disbelief for a minute, then went and sucked on his bunny.
Mies got put in a time out and threatened with multiple tooth extractions.
Thurs Jun 26 – In today’s news, the news is BIG. In an unprecedented show of syntactical interpretation, the SCOTUS ruled that DC’s gun ban was unconstitutional, insisting that the 2nd Amendment’s clause "the right to bear arms" is an individual right and not tied to participation in the militia.
Oslo and Mies, being gun dogs raised on the politically correct, progressive, pro-gun-control Left Coast, were ambivalent about the ruling. While the ancestry of their breed has been historically tied to guns and shooting, they told me they would be okay with changing that association, being tied instead to other methods of entertainment that don’t involve firearms.
"Par example," said Mies, "Weimaraners could be known as ‘leisure dogs’, ‘lounge dogs’, ‘escape dogs’, or ‘treat whores’."
And Oslo was all, "Just classify me as a ball dog, dude."
I, on the other hand, am all for scrapping the stupid 2nd Amendment and replacing it with the right to universal health care. And then I’m all for Scalia putting that in his pipe and smoking it.
Fri Jun 27 – Nothing happened today, unless you count the search query that led someone to 1934.cc. Checking the stats on my blog, I discovered that someone had typed this into Google, which ultimately led to my blog listing:
IF A DOG EATS CARPET, CAN THEY PASS IT SUCCESSFULLY
Well, I most certainly hope that the instigator of this search found their answer and that the carpet-eating dog turned into a carpet-shitting dog without a trip to the vet for what I’m sure would be a very expensive canine carpet extraction procedure.
Mies, DON’T GET ANY IDEAS.
Sat Jun 28 – Nothing happened today.
Sun Jun 29 – Today was cool. I can’t remember what important things happened in the world today; i.e., whether or not Dick and George murdered more people in Iraq or if they lied about something big AGAIN or which personality disorder Brtiney has this week, but I do know what happened at 5:00pm today in Washington’s Meridian Hill Park.
Every Sunday at 5:00pm in said park, a large group of drummers gets together to play at the top of the hill. Tens of people gather to dance, play, or just listen.
We took Oslo and Mies with us where they were cooed at and fawned over, (YES, WE KNOW OUR DOGS ARE BEAUTIFUL ALREADY – sheesh! and NO, THEY ARE NOT TWINS!).
Then we went to a little middle eastern restaurant in Adams-Morgan where we had eggplant and falafel sandwiches. It was very hot out, but the Weims were so good. Lying at our feet at the sidewalk café while we ate our baba ghanouj.
Mon Jun 30 – Today marks the end of my six-month work hiatus (I started my new job at NPR) and Oslo and Mies having a stay-at-home momm…er, I mean, human.
So, instead of us taking meandering, 8-hour lunches, now the Weimies will stay at home alone all day, with a lunchtime walk and French lesson from our wonderful Francophone dogwalker, Danielle.
We’re also looking into things like KongTime to keep them busy. I would have to get two of them, though. I could just see coming home to Oslo (the definite alpha in this duo), camped out in his spot under the table, hoarding all four kongs to himself, getting all Cujo on Mies. Meanwhile, Mies would probably have taken out his separation anxiety on the dispenser, knocking it off the counter to see if there was maybe one kong left for him, finding there was none, and then chewing the thing to smithereens.
At only $136.49 a pop, plus the cost of the kongs, I guess I’d better start saving….