Was Zum Teufel?!
Tues May 27 – During this week of Oslo flirting with little old ladies, Scott McClellan screwing the Bushies, and the sad passing of Bo Diddly, Oslo started the week out by making another visit to the National Lutheran Home where his new friend Maxine was waiting in the lobby because she knew the therapy dogs were coming. He charmed her with a good tail wag and hello and then continued down the hall to see Louise. Louise was sitting at a table in her wheelchair when Oslo came up behind her, nuzzling her neck. She laughed and giggled like a five-year old. I watched with a tremendous amount of satisfaction knowing that my wonderful dog was brightening the day of a sweet little old lady.
When he got home, he chilled out by going online, eventually looking up to ask me, "What’s cannabis, Mom?" He had just finished an article on the BBC about this sniffer dog in a Tokyo airport who had failed to detect cannabis in a suitcase as part of a security test.
Mies, sitting in the corner on the Golden Cushion nursing his sucky toy, stopped in mid suck. "What?!" he exclaimed. "You don’t know what cannabis is?? C’mon, Oslo. I know you were with me that time in Regrade Park when that Afghan Wolfhound with the dreadlocks offered us a doobie."
Ummm, okay. I thought I was through with the weed references, bongs, and roach clips now that Seth and Michaela are out of the house.
Right. So much for that video I just posted.
Wed May 28 – In today’s news, Scott McClellan, former press secretary of the fasci…er, I mean idio…er, wait, Commander-in-Chief, released his new book where he tells it like he really saw it during his tenure with the Bushies, e.g., incredibly fucked up. While he was busy pushing the neo-cons over the cliff, these two dogs in Great Britain were being saved from going over one. This from the BBC:
Two dogs have been rescued from a car hanging off a cliff-top with a 100ft (30m) drop over the Norfolk coast. The rear wheels of the car were left dangling over the edge of Scratby cliffs, near Great Yarmouth, after its driver crashed on Wednesday morning.
The female driver was able to escape unhurt and raised the alarm as her two dogs were trapped on the rear seat. Firefighters used winch pulleys to drag the car back from the edge of the cliff and rescued the dogs who were unharmed.
Whew! Thank god for those British firefighters! I read this to Oslo and Mies and they were like, well, yeah. What kind of dogs were they? ‘Cuz if they were German Shepherds or a smooshed-face breed, maybe they should’ve just let ’em go over.
Thurs May 29 – Nothing much happened today, unless you count Oslo and Mies celebrating their FIVE BILLIONTH compliment given by random strangers. Seriously, I’m not joking. These dogs get so many compliments on their looks every time we walk down the street that it nauseates me. So I told them that they’re going to have to start wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap on our runs because I’m tired of being interrupted a gazillion times so they can give autographs. Jeezus, what’s next? The red carpet? The puparazzi??
Fri May 30 – Today started out with an official teaching offer from MICA (more on that later), and ended with my reading about Puppies Behind Bars in the New York Times. When I read the title to Mies, his little tail went between his legs and he started shaking, thinking it was a program I was going to send him to as punishment for the last time he got into the trash can. I reassured him that it was not. It’s a program designed to teach prisoners how to help train service animals. Incredibly inspiring.
Sat Jun 01 – Nothing happened today. It was hella boring around here.
Sun Jun 02 – While Yves St. Laurent was kicking the bucket (god, that’s irreverent of me…sorry), Oslo and Mies were frolicking in the waves of the Chesapeake near Annapolis, Maryland. We took them to this great off-leash beach where Oslo was so intent on swimming to retrieve his beloved tennis balls from the Atlantic that he didn’t even flinch, growl, or bat nary a silver eyelash when a few German Shepherds AND a couple of Boxers were running around the beach near him, at one point even brushing up against him. It’s amazing how a personality disorder like OCD can distract one at times.
Mon Jun 03 – Something tragic happened today: Bo Diddly died. So as not to continue in my irreverent ways, RIP Bo and Yves.