Was Zum Teufel?!
Tues Apr 29 – During this week of more people losing their homes and – gasp! – Americans having to consider taking public transportation because a tank of gas is now almost worth more than a first-born son, Oslo and Mies were chillin’. They don’t drive (or pay for the gas or anything else around here, for that matter) and when they do need to get somewhere by car, they have two full-time chauffeurs at their disposal.
Fortunately, they love to walk a lot. While on our walk today past the British Embassy, Oslo caught a glimpse of the Winston Churchill statue, stopped, and started giving him (it) what for. I think he was bitching about the Brits treatment of German sporting dogs during World War II, but I’m not sure. Sometimes his barks are hard to translate.
Wed Apr 30 – While today saw Obama condemning his former pastor for almost fucking up his presidential campaign, today saw me and Will condemning the Weims for overturning the kitchen table. The table already had some problems (an edge of it had come loose due to a missing dowel and Will had kind of taped it together until he could find a more permanent solution), but when I got home tonight, I walked into the kitchen to see the table overturned, lying on its side.
What those wascally Weims were up to, I have no idea! We think they were probably trying to chase flies or bees in the window, knocking the table over in the process. They LOVE trying to catch flying bugs.
The day ended with Oslo sneaking into the trash to gingerly remove something of interest, then trying to tiptoe by us unnoticed with his nose in an almost empty jar of chocolate sauce. RIGHT, OSLO. Like we’re not going to notice when you’ve got a jar of what basically amounts to dog poison around your nose. YOU CAN’T HAVE CHOCOLATE, DUDE.
Thurs May 01 – According to my notes, nothing happened today, except for the corner of the now overturned table being chewed off. Weimaraners? Beavers? What’s the fucking difference? RIP, Ikea table.
Fri May 02 – Weird. According to my notes, nothing happened today, either.
Sat May 03 – THANK GOD. Something finally happened. But it involved Will, the dogs, the woods, and a mountain bike. I’m going to let him write about that one and fill you in later.
Sun May 04 – While Oslo, Mies, Will and I were walking through Dumbarton Oaks, one of our fave DC parks, a tragedy unfolded on the racetrack. Eight Belles, the beautiful filly, broke both her front legs in the Kentucky Derby, resulting in immediate euthanization on the track.
Even though we live in horse racing country now (the Pimlico racetrack in Baltimore hosts the Preakness Stakes, the race which ultimately took Barbaro’s life), I will NEVER, EVER go to a horse race. As far as I’m concerned, thoroughbred horse racing is as inhumane as dogfighting.
Mon May 05 – Speaking of running animals, today I ran with the Weims down Embassy Row to Dupont Circle. However, I did not jump on their backs, kick them with metal spurs, and whip their hindquarters to make them go faster. On the contrary, they were the ones pushing me to my limit. I could swear I’ve heard Mies admonishing Oslo while on our runs, “Don’t brake so suddenly when you need to take a leak, Mos! Humans are not designed to stop on a dime. Their center of gravity is much higher than ours which could result in a fall. Then what? How the hell would we carry her home??! You also risk dislocating her shoulder at that level of intense deceleration.” But then again, I could be wrong. Like I said, sometimes barks are hard to translate….