Was Zum Teufel?!
Tues Apr 15 – During this week of nothing happening because the Pope was in town and anything that may have happened PALED in comparison to a visit from P. Benedict the One Six, the Weims kinda laid low. Oslo was still recovering from his laser sterilization and Mies was busy reading about the NRA, attacking pythons and watching PETA videos on YouTube.
Wed Apr 16 – Today, THE POPE WAS IN TOWN. And Mies and I saw him. Live and in the holy, sacred flesh. Oslo was at the vet, having his privates checked for infection, rubbing his nose raw trying to get out of the kennel, and barking himself hoarse, hoping, I’m sure, that I would hear his calls for help from over five miles away and come rescue him from those mean vet techs.
Normally, I would have, but it’s not everyday that you get to see God on earth in the Popemobile. And to show how ignorant I am about Catholicism, despite having studied for five weeks in Rome and been baptized Catholic as a baby, I thought the Pope, just like most slimy politicians, rode around in a black Escalade. Boy, was I mistaken. His white Popemobile is not only heavenly, but über-cool. I’m surprised I haven’t seen it featured on one of my favorite design blogs.
Anyway, according to the Washington Post, "Photographers were briefed that Benedict would not be kissing U.S. soil upon his arrival, a departure from his predecessor."
Hmmmm, maybe because he’ll be kissing George W. Bush’s ass instead? (Sorry to offend any Pope lovers out there, but this is my blog and I can say whatever the hell I want.)
Thurs Apr 17 – While Mies and I were still pondering all the existential considerations evoked by seeing Pope Benedict Sixteen in the flesh, Oslo was still trying to lick his sutured balls and Will was pondering this question: how to tell the boys apart from behind now that they’re both sans cojones? I mean, seriously. When you need to tell them apart quickly, body parts, or the lack thereof, can be quite informative landmarks.
Anyway, I suggested that we consider a heart-shaped bikini wax right where the privates used to be. For Oslo, of course, since his champion, genetically superior balls were worth more than Mies’s.
When I ran this idea by Oslo, he was okay with it. He just said he’d really rather have his fur shaved into the shape of a tennis ball rather than a heart. Will and I were like, that’s cool.
His appointment is scheduled for next week.
Fri Apr 18 – Nothing happened today. We were so bored.
Sat Apr 19 – While authorities in Texas were trying to figure out whose kid is who’s in that whole fundie Mormon church scandal, Mies and I got up early to go to a Weimaraner Meetup in Manassas, VA. On our way down there, we passed by the National Rifle Association headquarters and the National Firearms Museum. We were both like, WHOA. The NRA??? Where we’re from in über-liberal Seattle, NRA supporters are taken out and shot with their own guns. These guns are then melted down to be used in the production of Boeing airplanes or Dale Chihuly glass sculptures.
And even though Mies is a gundog, and a German one no less, he does not like guns. NOSIREE. Well, not unless they can help him catch one of these east coast squirrels that he and Oslo go ABSOLUTELY NUTS over. We’re not sure why….
Sun Apr 20 – Nothing happened today, unless you count the Bushies lying and manipulating the news coverage on Iraq (after eight years, the Bushies lying is still considered news??)
Oh, and this woman almost got swallowed by a python. Was zum teufel?!
Mon Apr 21 – In today’s news, I discover that according to PETA, I may as well be a member of the Ku Klux Klan because I own a purebred dog. Groovy.
For the record, Oslo and Mies think PETA is a big plastic baggie full of dog poo.