Was Zum Teufel?!
Tues Mar 25 – During this week of gored dogs, trained fish, and creepy crawlies, cette semaine begins with Will surgically removing three creepy crawlies (aka ticks). One from Mies, one from me, and one from Oslo. Please note that this is the FIRST TIME EVER that any of us has ever had a tick, despite my growing up in the Rockies and Oslo and Mies growing up…well…dogs. Gross. That’s one of the things Seattle has on DC, hands down. NO BUGS! Well, almost no bugs.
Sorry, but I don’t like blood-sucking arachnids making themselves at home on me or my Weims.
Wed Mar 26 – Nothing happened today. Probably because a bunch of crap is going to happen tomorrow.
Thurs Mar 27 – In today’s news, I toured the NPR headquarters in the morning and broke up a dog fight in the afternoon. To make a long story short, I slipped and fell with my dogs on-leash as a guy at the park was approaching us with his snarling, growling, I’M-GOING-TO-EAT-YOU! Chow mix. Oslo got growly back, Mies joined in and they lunged after the dog. I slipped on the gravel and in the process, my dogs reached the Chow and one of them bit him in the anus. He was bleeding. I tried to be a responsible dog owner. I gave the guy my phone number. He calls later with the verdict. His dog needs stitches. We pay for over half of it. Hopefully, this is the end of story.
Dog Lesson #1,574.
To all of you people who don’t know shit about dogs (and sometimes, this still includes me; I learn something new about dogs almost daily), do not approach two muscular dogs with your snarling, growling, I’M-GOING-TO-EAT-YOU! beast while simultaneously saying, "Sorry, but my dog is really aggressive". TURN AROUND AND GO THE OTHER WAY, DUMBASS.
If you are the one approached by another dog owner with a snarling, growling beast, tell said dog owner to back the fuck off until you can leave the vicinity. Then go home, make sure you have a good personal liability policy, get your intact male neutered, and start working with him on "HEEL!!" and not being so reactive to assholes. Because, yes, like people, dogs can be assholes.
Fri Mar 28 – I’m sure something happened today, but I was still way too upset about what happened yesterday to pay attention. Our bank account is minus $200, but luckily, the mutt is okay. Not counting the new asshole one of our dogs ripped him.
Okay, seriously. That’s not funny. But laughing about it helps Will and I get through the stress of near litigation.
Sat Mar 29 – Today’s news brings something incredibly fascinating: fish trained to recall. I showed this article to Oslo, who isn’t always great at coming when called; I hoped he’d take a hint.
All he said was, "Man, those fish are stupid. They need to learn a thing or two about humans."
In other news, Will’s sister Fran, her husband Tony, and their 16-year old son, Ganadi, came down for the day from Baltimore. While we were eating dinner, Fran was telling me about how Will used to have jars of dead animals in his room. Snakes, toads, insects, and even a stuffed Starling. When Oslo and Mies heard about the Starling, their ears perked up and they both started shaking, looking at Will in amazement. If their own dad could stuff a poor, innocent little bird, what could he do to them, two big gray beasts who’ve been known to cause their share of trouble?
Sun Mar 30 – While Oslo and Mies were still pondering this new side of Will, two dogs in Scotland were gored by a deer. This from Jennifer Lyon at The Arran Banner:
The dogs, golden Labrador Delia and black Lab Masi, were gored after the stag, which was feeding on flowers and bushes in David Kelso’s garden at his home, Aros Beag, panicked as it struggled to find an escape route away from the dogs.
and
The hunt is now on to find the stag and shoot it.
Northend farmer Jamie McKinnon said the stag in question has been known to pursue hikers on the hill: ‘It is a very distinctive stag and last summer it was seen on Cir Mhor chasing some walkers. It has a bit of a reputation for threatening people and we do keep an eye on it.’
The next time Oslo whines because he can’t go off-leash in any of DC’s parks anymore, I’m going to remind me of Delia and Masi.
Mon Mar 31 – Nothing happened today, unless you count the Pritzker prize being awarded to French architect, Jean Nouvel. Mies, who is named after another starchitect, Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, wondered why it was a Frenchman and not a German. As he was reading the announcement, he mumbled, "Was zum teufel?!"