Was Zum Teufel?!
Tues Feb 05 – Super Tuesday starts this week off with a shizzle, with Obama fans being bummed by Hillary winning New Hampshire. It also leads with this horrifying headline in the Seattle Times:
Oregon guide dogs for blind shocked by light rail platforms.
Can you imagine? Apparently, "Wet platforms at some light rail stations are causing mild electrical shocks to guide dogs for the blind that can cause the animals to ignore their training and make them unable to do their jobs. The same problem surfaced eight years ago, requiring three dogs to be retrained and forcing one to retire. The dogs are given to the blind for free, but it costs more than $50,000 to train one."
Holy smokes! $50,000??!! And I thought we spent a lot of money on our dogs…. Anyway, I hope they get this fixed. This really is no laughing matter.
Wed Feb 06 – In today’s news, we had to install a latch on our bedroom door to keep the Weimaraners out. This is a very old apartment and none of the doors around here latch completely. Consequently, Mies takes it upon himself to let himself (with Oslo trailing behind) into our bed at 4.30am. Ummmmm, right. This doesn’t work for us. Two adults and two Weims in a queen-sized bed just ain’t happenin’.
Today also brings the discovery of the Canine Coat of Arms, found on this really cool hat at this way overpriced pet store in Georgetown:
A Tribute to Canis Familiaris.
Semper verus – ad finem fidelis. Always loyal – forever faithful.
De parvis grandis a cervus erit. Small things will make a large pile.
Simul astu et dentibus utor. I use my cunning and my teeth simultaneously.
Canis meus id comedit. My dog ate it.
Cum homine de cane debeo congredi. I’ve got to see a man about a dog.
Qui me amat, amat et canem meam. He who loves me, loves my dog too.
Ubi bene ibi canim. Where one is happy, there is his dog.
Tarde venientibus ossa. For those who come late, only the bones.
Si vis amaria, ama. If you want to be loved, love.
Ulula cum canis, cum quibus esse cupis. Who keeps company with dogs, will learn to howl.
Cave canem…te necet lingendo. Beware of the dog, he may lick you to death.
Ex prompto. Ready on the spot.
Canis amo. I love my dog.
And that, my friends, is your Latin lesson for the day.
Thurs Feb 07 – Nothing happened today, unless you count the discovery of a Weimaraner whose registered name is CH Reagan’s Rocket Launcher. Was zum teufel??!! This is either a joke or they really, really loved Ronald Reagan.
Fri Feb 08 – While yesterday was kind of boring, today was much more fun. Our friend Jenny arrived for a three-day visit from Seattle, her first time in the nation’s capital. The Weims were so excited to see her they almost wet their pants! Except that, well…ummm…they don’t wear pants.
Anyhoo, they had their first walk with Danielle, the French dogwalker ("Fais pee-pee!", remember?), while Jenny and I traipsed around Capitol Hill, eating corned beef and cabbage at the Irish Times and smoking clove cigarettes on the Mall.
The day ended on an equally intoxicated note as we smoked more cloves and drank hard liquor at a rock-a-billy CD release party in Baltimore. Thanks, Will!!
Sat Feb 09 – In today’s news, the red leather couch was delivered. We thought there would be problems fitting it through the door, but luckily, there weren’t. The Weims now have a couch! We will be spraying it regularly with Bitter Apple in hopes that Mies won’t eat it.
Jenny and I also made our way to the Smithsonian’s Museum of Natural History. As we were walking through the small mammal section, I couldn’t help but imagine what a Weimaraner exhibit would look like (especially with all my friend Janet’s talk about having her 11-year old Weimaraner sent to the taxidermist when he dies). There would be two stuffed Weims, one lying down on the floor, sucking on a stuffed animal, the other up on its hind legs, countersurfing in a mock kitchen setting. The little placard would read something like this:
Canis familiaris weimaranis – The Weimaraner, also called the Grey Ghost, Weim, or Weimenscrammer, is a German hunting dog with great tracking and scenting abilities. Often suffering from severe separation anxiety, this canid species has been known to eat phones, chew through deadbolts, and leap over tall buildings in order to reduce the distance between itself and its owner.
An extraordinarily beautiful breed, the Weimaraner’s short, silver fur is what gives this canine its sleek, smooth appearance. Bred to sleep on expensive posturpedic mattresses and leather couches, the Weimaraner has been known to sneak into bedrooms and nearly squeeze humans to death during nighttime snuggling.
The Weimaraner’s diet consists of just about everything, including plastic milk containers, small electronics, and used sanitary napkins. It is found on almost every continent on the planet. Except for in Muslim countries, where dogs are considered unclean, no matter how beautiful they are.
Sun Feb 10 – The week ends with a touching story about the family of a soldier killed in Iraq who fought to bring back to the states two stray dogs he adopted in Baghdad:
GROSSE POINTE FARMS, Mich. — The family of Peter Neesley had one wish to fulfill after the Army sergeant died in Baghdad on Christmas Day. His relatives yearned to retrieve two stray dogs he had taken in and cared for. He was attached to them and expressed in e-mails and phone calls how he wanted to bring them home to Michigan.
For weeks, the family fought to have at least that part of Neesley’s life given back to them. On Friday afternoon, the battle was won. As Mama, a black Labrador mix, and Boris, her white-and-brown spotted puppy, hopped out of a minivan, family members ran and knelt in the wet streets to greet them.
"Patrick, when we started this a few weeks ago, said he just wanted to love them, and hold them, and take care of them and all of that," said Peter Neesley’s aunt Julie Dean. "It’s going to be tremendous comfort for the family."
Well, we can’t bring the troops home alive just yet, but at least we can rescue their dogs. RIP Peter Neesley. And welcome home, Mama and Boris.
Mon Feb 11 – Nothing happened today unless you count this cool Wegman video I found on YouTube. These are the things we imagine Mies doing when we’re not looking.