Was Zum Teufel?!
Tues Jan 22 – During this week of late WZT columns, dogs pissing in elevators, ruined helmets and presidential mudslinging, today finds me picking up where I left off from last week. I wanted to explain cognitive load and knowledge in the head vs. knowledge in the world. Knowledge in the head is exactly what it sounds like, information you carry in your head because you have so much experience with a certain system or thing that you don’t need the manual to figure stuff out anymore. For example, I have used my camera so much that I have all the manual controls figured out. I don’t need to look at any instructions to find out how to set the f-stop or shutter speed.
Knowledge in the world is just the opposite. It’s what I’m experiencing in DC right now. I know NOTHING about this place; there is no knowledge in my head. Everything I want to do, anywhere I want to go, requires significant effort and copious amounts of searching for knowledge in the world (i.e., for example, excessive map reading, tedious bus schedule analysis, etc.). Consequently, this results in a very high cognitive load. Which in turn causes anxiety, frustration, and decreased mental performance. Hence, my near meltdown at IKEA last weekend over my Swedish meatballs and lingonberry sauce. Don’t even ask.
Wed Jan 23 – Today’s freak show begins with this girl getting kicked off a London bus for wearing a leash. An excerpt straight from Reuters:
A British bus company has apologized to a girl who is led around on a leash by her boyfriend and describes herself as a human pet after one of its drivers threw her off a bus.
Tasha Maltby, 19, told British newspapers she was the "pet" of her 25-year-old fiance Dani Graves. Maltby – who lives on state benefits and got engaged in November – said her choice of lifestyle might seem unusual but was harmless.
"I am a pet," she told the Daily Mail. "I generally act animal-like and I lead a really easy life. I don’t cook or clean and I don’t go anywhere without Dani. It might seem strange but it makes us both happy. It’s my culture and my choice. It isn’t hurting anyone."
Today ended with my putting a "CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR DOG!!!" sign in our elevator. Somebody’s dog has been pissing in the elevator, leaving puddles of urine covering 2/3 of the elevator floor. Yeah, I know. True urban living at its worst. Disgusting!
Thurs Jan 24 – After days of using a stinky elevator, today begins like yesterday ended. Only this time, somebody else posted a "CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR DOG!!!" note in the elevator and a paper towel (it should have been a whole roll!) and a warning about the freshly-installed webcam in the ceiling. Yes, thank you property management people.
Today ended with the Weims getting yelled at by a schizophrenic homeless man while we were out for our evening walk and Mies eating his third bike helmet. Was zum teufel??!! Damn dog.
Fri Jan 25 – In an unfortunate turn of events, today I lost my blog URL. What was www.nineteenthirtyfour.org is now www.1934.cc. We also met our new dogwalker. I thought I would have to interview several, but I really liked this woman. Her name is Danielle (we still love you, Jenny!) and she is a southern French native who has been walking dogs in our neighborhood for the past 15 years. She has a very thick French accent, but since the Weims already know several French commands, they felt very comfortable with her. They also learned a new French command during her visit: "Fais pee-pee!"
Just not in the goddamn elevator!!!
Sat Jan 26 – Nothing happened today, unless you count Oslo responding to "Fais pee-pee!" a minimum of 37 times.
Sun Jan 27 – With never a dull moment in this, the House of Weimaraner, Oslo got a near arse-whooping today when this big German Shepherd leapt over the fence of the dog run and attacked him while I was walking both boys on leashes. Right. To this dog’s owner I say, can you spell Dog Whisperer?? Luckily, Oslo – with his show-quality cajones – is not one to back down easily and no Weims were seriously injured.
Mon Jan 30 – Today bleeps in on a technical note. I have been running regularly with the Weims and my Nike+ since I got to DC. It’s great, except for when I run for 50 min and the stupid sensor in my shoe tells me I’ve only covered .87km and burned a mere 66 calories. Was zum teufel??!! Oh, wait, here. Let me say that again in English for full effect: what the fuck??
Oslo and Mies love it, though. Because I keep running and running and running. Just like they do.