Was Zum Teufel?!
Tuesday, Jan 08 – After a three week hiatus from Was Zum Teufel?!, this week commences with me and the Weims back in the saddle. Only this time the horse is galloping across the mid-Atlantic, not the wild, wild West. Our move from Seattle to the east coast went well, with Oslo and Mies cooped up in a Budget rental truck for six days as they traveled with Will across the Rockies, the Great Plains, and finally, the blue grass fields of Kentucky until they reached our new home in Washington, DC. Goodbye, Space Needle; hello, Washington Monument.
Wednesday, Jan 09 – Today began with a commemorative trip to the White House with the boys. Outside the Treasury Department, Oslo took it upon himself to bark long and loud at the huge bronze statues of famous dead white men on horses. Not since his encounters with the pigs in downtown Seattle has he been that freaked out.
Mies was busy checking out all the men in black, wondering if they could be that much worse than the animal control Nazis back in Seattle. Yes, I told him. They could.
Thursday, Jan 10 – In today’s news, Mies had one of his worst digestive tract emergencies EVER. To make a long-ass story hella short, he had diarrhea in the lobby of our apartment building just as a well-coiffed woman was bringing her well-coiffed daughter home from her well-coiffed private school. Nothing says, "Hi, we’re your new neighbors. Let’s be friends!" quite like two huge piles of dog crap. Thank god he missed the carpet.
Friday, Jan 11 – Today brings news of a German polar bear getting his own website. Apparently, the poor little bear has been rejected by his mother and the website is for reporting news of his progress to the public. Mies, who was rejected by his first set of human parents, asked me if he could have his own website, too. I told him he already did, reminding him of his Facebook and Dogster pages. I mean, how much online presence does one canine need??
Saturday, Jan 12 – Nothing happened today, unless you count the Weims and me on our first Nike+ run at Glover Archibald Park (our new favorite dog spot).
Sunday, Jan 13 – The first part of today sucked. Why? Because Will and I walked the Weims to Cleveland Park, excited to try a new bakery and the bakery sucked. When in DC, do not go to the Firehook Bakery. It’s nasty. When in Seattle, go to Macrina (Olso and Mies love the squash bread!) and The Essential Baking Co. How I loooooong for some Bostock.
Our search for yummy baked goods and authentic espresso continues….
Monday, Jan 14 – In today’s news, the Weims stay home while Callie goes to northern Virginia in search of Goodwill and Target. She finds the Goodwill and sees the Target as she’s headed who-knows-where on some beltway she knows nothing about because it’s not on her DC Metro map. But she missed the exit and is not willing to retrace her tracks through the nasty, neo-conservative urban sprawl just to finally get some retail therapy at good ‘ol Tar-zhay.
At least in Seattle, the urban sprawl is populated by liberal democrats. But, for those of you dumbass west coasters who know nothing about east coast geography (like me), here are some interesting facts about Virginia:
01. It turned 400 last year. 400!!!
02. Slavery began there.
03. Eight US presidents were born there. Eight!!!
04. It was the capital of the Confederacy during the Civil War. DC was the capital of the Union.
05. During the above mentioned war, more soldiers died on Virginia’s soil than any other state in the union.
06. It is the south, but not the deep south.
07. Arlington, VA (just across the Potomac) has more off-leash dog parks than DC. Which, as far as this column is concerned, is all that really matters.