Was Zum Teufel?!
Tuesday, Dec 11 – This long week from hell (packing is no fun, let me tell you!) interspersed with puplights, birthday/Christmas/Farewell parties, and dead Crocodiles kicks off on a boring note. Nothing happened today, unless you count our babysitting Parker for nine hours while Rocky went to photograph Barack Obama. The Weims didn’t get to meet the famous candidate, but Oslo did get a "Barack 08" button to wear on his coat. However, it has since been lost at the dog park.
Hopefully, some Mutt Romney supporter didn’t find it. Ha ha. Get it? Mutt Romney? Anyway….
Wednesday, Dec 12 – Today began with a Christmas baking fest at my friend Lisa’s. Since most of my baking supplies and utensils are packed, I made fudge instead of cookies. Oslo and Mies were bummed because dogs can’t have chocolate. And I was surprised when chocolate didn’t make it onto the "Your Dog Ate What?!" list, found recently in the Chicago Tribune.
According to the folks at Veterinary Pet Insurance, the No. 1 item surgically removed from pets’ gastrointestinal tracts is socks. Here’s the full Top 10 list from VPI. And surprisingly, "homework" is nowhere to be found.
1. Socks
2. Underwear
3. Pantyhose
4. Rocks
5. Balls
6. Chew toys
7. Corn cobs
8. Bones
9. Hair ties/ribbons
10. Sticks
VPI, which is America’s largest provider of pet health insurance, went through its claims records to come up with the list. Other items that didn’t crack the Top 10 included nails, sewing needles, nipples from baby bottles, pagers, hearing aids, drywall, snail bait – snail bait? – batteries, rubber bands and toy cars.
Hmmmmm. What about sanitary napkins? I don’t see sanitary napkins….
Thursday, Dec 13 – In today’s news, the New York Times ponders this question: Who Invited the Dog? Apparently, too many dog owners bring their uninvited pooches where they’re not wanted, like dinner parties and weddings. Weddings, you might ask? Yes, weddings. Here comes the bride and somebody’s neurotic, untrained Lab/Border Collie/Terrier/Insert Your Breed Here. Nothing like somebody else’s dog’s hair and muddy paw prints on your wedding dress, eh?
Luckily, Oslo and Mies are very well-behaved and most of my friends really like having them around. When I went to my friend Lisa’s for the aforementioned Christmas bake-off, Kato, her senior poodle, and Trane, her almost-five-year old, called me to make sure I brought the boys along.
But, if I were getting married and someone brought their uninvited pet, I would be pissed! I love dogs, but when it comes to our furry friends (and non-furry ones, like children under the age of 25), leave them at home unless you check with the hostess! For those of you who don’t know shit about doggie manners, it’s just rude, dude.
Friday, Dec 14 – Nothing happened today, unless you count Oslo and Mies being explicitly invited to my sister’s birthday celebration and my poorly aimed throwing of Oslo’s bumper in Grieg Garden on the UW campus. For those of you who weren’t at our wedding, this is the lovely little spot where Will and I exchanged vows a little over four years ago. Where once we stood in dreamy anticipation of our new life together, sealing the deal with a sigh, a blush, and a kiss, Oslo and Mies now go around the exact same spot, pissing, wrestling, and marking their territory.
Anyhoo, In this garden stands a bronze, bust statue of Edvard Grieg, the famous Norwegian composer and pianist. When I threw the bumper that night, I think it hit Mr. Grieg right in the nose, making quite a ping and then a gong when the heavy plastic bounced and resounded against the metal. Oops, sorry Edvard. I certainly didn’t mean to….
Saturday, Dec 15 – Nothing happened today unless you count Oslo and Mies sporting their new puplights while running around the UW campus. Makes it easier to find the little devils when they hide from me in the Rhodie bushes.
Sunday, Dec 16 – Nothing happened today, not for the dogs, anyway. They stayed home while I went to a lovely farewell dinner at the Pink Door, another of Will’s and my special Seattle places. We started our engagement there on February 2, 2003.
Monday, Dec 17 – Today was a sad day in Seattle. Number one because Mies opened the only Christmas present I’m likely to get this year, robbing me of any joy I may have hoped to experience upon waking on December 25 (since the house will be empty by then and Will and the dogs en route to DC) – little bastard!!! And two because the Crocodile Café – practically a national landmark here in the Emerald City – closed its doors.
First, Will’s mother sent me a very nice package with two gifts inside: one for me, one for the dogs. I put them both on the shelf, vowing to wait until Xmas to open them. But alas, Mies had other ideas. When Michaela got home a while later, the little rascal was standing there with a chicken soap’s head in its mouth, its decapitated body and the little matching soap eggs and wrapping paper scattered across the floor. Apparently, scented soaps = potential food. If you’re reading this, Pat, Mies’s most heartfelt apologies. The soaps are still lovely and If it’s any consolation (and indication from the condition of the spent wrapping paper), I think he took great pleasure in tearing the package open.
Finally, Seattle’s legendary Crocodile Cafe has closed its doors. This was the birthplace of Nirvana and the venue of many a famous made-in-the-Northwest band, ala Pearl Jam, Mudhoney, and Sleater-Kinney. Unfortunately, I’ve never been to a show there, let alone one involving Pearl Jam or Nirvana, but I have eaten breakfast and lunch there a few times. The food, like the bands, was great.