Was Zum Teufel?!
Tuesday, Oct 02 – This week kicked off with a bang at Regrade Park in Belltown. This was where my friend Rocky’s Fox Terrier, Parker, was put in his place by an old chocolate lab. Even though he’s small, Parker tries to dominate a lot of dogs, humping fellow canines two to three times his size (and for you people who don’t know shit about dogs, this humping behavior does not mean a dog is gay, okay? It means the dog is a little bastard who wants to be the boss of all the other dogs in the immediate area). Well, this old lab was very calm assertive with Parker. Parker was trying in vain to hump this lab’s head. But the lab just calmly turned his body perpendicular to Parker, saying in dog body language "Chill out, you little freak."
Well, this condescending body language only served to piss Parker off. He continued his humping efforts in ever greater ernest. At this point, the lab bent down a little bit, butting Parker with his shoulder, putting him down on the ground. Parker was snarling and thrashing in vain; for some reason, he was stuck on his back and couldn’t get up, squirming like a flipped beetle on a hot summer sidewalk. It was hilarious! I’ll admit, I was experiencing a little Schadenfreude at that moment as Parker has bitten me before. But that’s another story….
He also tried that humping thing with Oslo once and got a bloody ear in the process. Oslo, with his Champion cajones always in splendid view, won’t put up with that shit for one minute.
Wednesday, Oct 03 – Happy birthday to Will! We miss you, Sparks.
Thursday, Oct 04 – Speaking of flipped beetles, it is now that time of year when things are perpetually soggy and wet here in the Pacific Northwest. What this means is that one of my favorite activities is over. I love watching the Weims at Marymoor or Magnuson roll around in the tall, dry grass, scratching their backs. The best way to describe it is by comparing them to bacteria in a petri-dish. Remember in high school chemistry labs how you’d be looking at critters under the microscope? Remember how these critters would squirm and thrash around and you couldn’t really tell their heads from their tails? Well, that’s how Weims look when they’re rolling around in the grass. Like little gray bacterial specimens, lost in the dog park petri-dish.
Friday, Oct 05 – Today began waaaaaaaaaay too fricking early. At 3.00 am, I awoke to the sound of Mies whining at my door. I get up to let him out and lo and behold, I’m too late. The room smells funny and it’s readily apparent why. Across the living room there’s a trail of…ummmmmm…well, you know….dog poop. And it is because of this trail that I know Mies is the culprit. People often ask me how I can tell Oslo and Mies apart and let me tell you, when they’re pooping, it’s pretty damn easy. Mies walks like an Egyptian doing yoga when he’s taking a dump, while Oslo squats in one spot when he does his business; clean as a whistle! You learn these subtle variations when you have two nearly identical dogs.
You also learn that maybe your husband’s insomnia is actually a good thing. Had Will been here, he would have heard Mies whining when he first needed to go out. I, on the other hand, sleep through just about everything, including the dogs’ potty calls.
Saturday, Oct 06 – Nothing happened today, unless you count my waking up to both dogs in bed with me. I didn’t want a replay of mopping the hardwood floors at 3.30am, thankyouverymuch. So I kept Mies well within hearing distance.
Sunday, Oct 07 – I can’t remember how today began, but it ended with my accidentally hitting a woman at Belltown with a wet tennis ball. Yep, straight from the Chuckit! (For those of you who don’t know shit about dogs and are wondering what the hell a Chuckit is, look it up! It’s one of the greatest inventions EVER!)
Anyway, she was cool about it. Turned out she was a nurse working nights at Harborview who’d just finished sleeping for the day. She came to the dog park to wake herself up. Little did she know….
Monday, Oct 08 – Today commenced with a rushed, 45 minute commute around the north end of Lake Washington to Woodinville; it was Oslo’s first day in training with the Delta Society to become a therapy dog. When he’s finished in eight weeks and has passed his certification exam, we will be qualified for AAT (Animal Assisted Therapy) and AAA (Animal Assisted Activities) in places like hospitals, nursing homes, and the like.
Until then, he’s met a new girlfriend in his class. Her name is Kita and this was how her owner introduced her to me, "This is Kita and she really, really likes male dogs. I like to tell people she’s a Siberian Hussie."
Needless to say, Oslo was cool with that.