Was Zum Teufel?!
Wednesday, Sept 05 – During this week of we-FINALLY-got-some-damn-sunshine-and-temperatures-above-60 weather, Will was extolling the virtues of pet rats (don’t tell Oslo + Mies!). Apparently, one of his co-workers has a couple and she loves them. So, I decided to do a little research on About.com to see if maybe I should trade the Weims in for a couple of rodents:
01. Rats are intelligent, social animals that can make wonderful pets. Hmmm, much like a Weimaraner.
02. Easily tamed. Well, three years later, we’re still working on that one under certain circumstances, e.g., the "rolling mental institution" as mentioned last week.
03. Relatively easy to care for, but are not low maintenance pets. Uuuh, yeah. Ditto. The only thing easy to care for about a Weim is its short hair. This breed is about as low maintenance as Tammy Faye Baker. Although neither of my dogs wear mascara.
04. Require a fair amount of attention and exercise time outside of their cages (at least an hour a day is ideal). An hour a day? Is that all?? Hmmm, now I’m tempted.
05. Rats are very social and do best if kept with other rats. Yep.
06. Rats are very curious. Ditto. But can they open cupboards and drawers??? And do they countersurf?
I’ll revisit this one next week when I’ve had more time to ponder things….
Thursday, Sept 06 – Published in this week’s Parade magazine was a list of stuff dogs shouldn’t eat. Since I don’t read Parade magazine, I decided to Google it instead. According to the ASPCA (American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals), here is a list of things that dog should not eat. I read this to Mies and he just rolled his eyes, especially when he read the "fatty foods" part. Butter is one of his favorite foods and he’d eat a stick a day if he could:
01. Grapes
02. Chocolate
03. Fatty foods
04. Nuts
05. Mulch
06. Potato Sprouts
07. Artificial Sweeteners
08. Turkey skin
09. Alcohol
10. Avocado
11. Coffee (such a shame since we live in Seattle!)
12. Moldy or spoiled foods.
13. Salt
14. Yeast dough
15. Garlic
Uuuuh, garlic??? Oh, scheize. Will and I have been adding fresh minced garlic to their food since we brought them home from the hospit…er… I mean Stephanie’s! We were told that garlic prevents fleas. Well, apparently, it also prevents other things, like canines.
Anyway, the list does not mention cat food, something Oslo loves to get into. Nor does it mention baby blankets. Mies’s biological mother died from complications of eating one of those…. Don’t even ask.
Friday, Sept 07 – In these days of
not-the-brightest-color-on-the-palette/sharpest-tool-in-the-shed world leaders, I am happy to report that Oslo + Mies have a higher IQ than Dubya. How do I know this? Because they took an online doggie IQ test and both scored over 80! Which, as we all know even if we don’t want to admit it, is probably about 15-20 points higher than you-know-who’s.
I am also happy to report that the Weims were ready to kick some ass tonight when a completely wigged out crazy woman in Belltown was acting completely wigged out and crazy. We were sitting there talking to the couple who sneak beer into the park in coffee cups when this homeless freak started doing the Mr. Roboto dance. At first the boys took no notice. But when she started pantomiming and talking to herself, Oslo decided it was time to sound a warning and protect his owner (not to mention his prize-winning family jewels). He started barking at her with Mies subsequently zooming in as back-up reinforcement. The strung-out woman was totally oblivious. The Weims were totally freaked out, but luckily, I was able to lure them away with some of the clandestine beer. On the doggie poison list, I know! But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
Saturday, Sept 08 – Nothing happened today unless you count the Huskies win over some state school in Idaho whose mascot had something to do with horses or potatoes or skinheads. I can’t remember which.
Anyhoo, my trip to the dog park was easily doubled with all the football traffic. Why I didn’t choose to go to the crack park downtown instead, I have no idea. Oh, wait. I wanted to take them swimming. But I digress….
With all the purple and gold Husky regalia being flaunted all over Seattle proper, I started wondering why the UW’s mascot is an Alaskan Malamute and not a Weimaraner. I mean, one thing the Weimaraner has going for it is the letter "W", right? Which is also the UW’s sports logo. Seems to be a pretty popular letter these days.
Weimaraners are also sleek, fast, and beautiful. Not that Huskies aren’t, but who can tell with all that fur covering things up? And speaking of all that fur, how is that relevant to Seattle? It’s not like we get a bunch of snow around here for this Husky to pull his sled around in. Weimaraners, on the other hand, are bird dogs. And god knows Seattle has birds in need of hunting.
On second thought, since we’re basically surrounded by water, maybe a Chesapeake Bay Retriever would be the best choice. Water football, anyone?
Sunday, Sept 09 – In this world filled with terrorists, axes of evil, and bad guys, it’s nice to know we have two creatures in our house with excellent bomb-scenting abilities. Today finished with an amazing display of the olfactory powers of our house canines.
As I was walking along Boston street on the tail end of our evening stroll, the dogs suddenly slowed down (definitely NOT usual) and with their necks stretched and heads held high, started vigorously sniffing the air. Mies then started whining and both dogs were clearly excited. I saw the silhouette of a person walking about two blocks ahead of us, but he/she wasn’t walking a dog. So I figured there must be a bitch in heat around the corner and Oslo was trippin’ out at the thought of finally losing his virginity.
No stud-ready bitch appeared, so I look up toward the person in front of us again, watching her walk. I then realized from her gait that it was Michaela. Even though she had walked where we were minutes before and was now two blocks ahead of us, the Weims had detected her scent trail and were straining to catch up with her.
Amazing. Simply amazing. If I could only teach them to sniff out animal control like that when we’re breaking the leash laws….
Monday, Sept 10 – Nothing happened today.
Tuesday, Sept 11 – Nothing happened today, either, unless you count the anniversary of what has turned out to be the beginning of the most extensive lying spree of any US administration in history.
It was also a day to remember the roughly 350 search and rescue dogs who aided in the recovery efforts of the September 11th aftermath. Without the aid of hardhats, steel-toed boots, respirators, earplugs, or their own bomb-sniffing dogs, these wonderful animals went where humans could not in search of survivors.
Man’s best friend indeed. We salute you.