Was Zum Teufel?!
Sun Jul 20 – During this week of an extra smoggy China, Obama’s German lovefest, the French working more, and the UN trial of that mean old Serb, Radovan Karadzic, Oslo and Mies were kickin’ it at a kennel in rural Maryland – about an hour north of DC – while we drove down to North Carolina to see some friends.
Mies, who’s been following the Karadzic story closely, was intrigued by the way ol’ Rado was able to completely transform himself, avoiding capture despite being one of the world’s most wanted for over ten years. So, he spent most of his time at the kennel contemplating how the addition of a beard and some glasses would enable him to escape the consequences of future trash can upendings and cabinet raidings. As a matter of fact, by the time we picked him up, he had picked most of the fur from one of his sucky toys and glued it to his face. A prototype, of sorts.
We recognized him right away, though, despite the fake whiskers.
Mon Jul 21 – While the Bosnian Butcher was busy being outed and brought to justice and the German Obamakins were busy having orgasms in public, Oslo and Mies were busy reading (what else are they supposed to do all day while we’re at work??). Today they came across an article about cats being cheaper than dogs. Mies fretted over it all day and made us promise him when we got home that we would never, EVER trade him and Oslo in for two cats. I told him that of course not. We would never do that. What we might do, however, is FedEx him back to Stephanie if he doesn’t quit getting into the drawer, chewing open the box of Ziploc bags every time I buy a new one, and then spreading half-chewed-and-thus-useless sandwich bags all over the floor.
YES, MIES. I’M TALKING TO YOU.
Tues Jul 22 – Speaking of orgasms, today’s news brings the story of green speed dating. According to my employer (e.g., NPR), treehuggers need love, too:
Sixteen or so singles from across Los Angeles descended on a bar near the beach last month in search of a carbon-neutral connection. What do these greenies drive? As it turned out, more than just Priuses — one would-be dater rolled up in a Land Rover.
The offender, Jeff Seputra, is a hedge fund manager who lives in downtown Los Angeles. He insists he’s been trying to get rid of his gas guzzler for years. He also says he only drives it very short distances and that he recycles and gives to green causes. But at an event like this one, Seputra’s choice of wheels may be an inconvenient truth.
Oslo and Mies are all about hugging trees, especially when there are squirrels in them.
Wed Jul 23 – Nothing happened today, people.
Thurs Jul 24 – Speaking of orgasms and Germans, today saw a downright lovefest on the streets of Berlin as Barack totally sweet-talked all of Deutschland. Hell, all of the EU, for that matter.
Anyway, Oslo and Mies watched with great interest as their fellow Germans fawned over the famed senator from Illinois. They were frustrated, though, when they had to rely on the captions to understand what the Germans were saying. "Why do you speak to us in French, Mom? We’re not French bird dogs, in case you haven’t noticed. We want our commands spoken in German!"
Jawohl. Heil Weimaraner.
Fri Jul 25 – Unbelievably, today’s news reports a poll showing that pet owners are more likely to vote for McCain. Was zum teufel?!
Not in this house. NO EFFING WAY.
Sat Jul 26 – Today in France, the French are undoubtedly enjoying their weekends more than they were last week. Apparently, Sarcozy has ended the coveted 35-hour workweek. Sorry, Frogs. After years of part-time work, it’s time to start busting your asses and working overtime like the rest of the industrialized world.
Oslo and Mies, on the other hand, voted to shorten their workweek (if that’s even possible). Oslo decided he’s only going to fetch the paper three days a week instead of five, and Mies is looking to outsource some of his guard dog responsibilities to Mudhol Hounds in India. He doesn’t like working the night shift.