Why I went to grad school.
“Herein lies the real value of education. Advanced education may or may not make men and women more efficient; but it enriches personality, increases the wealth of the mind, and hence brings happiness.” – William Lyons Phelps
When you’re already $39,000 in student loan debt for your undergraduate education (I didn’t have a mommy and daddy to pay for my tuition), the thought of adding another $30k to the bill for grad school isn’t that hard to swallow. Some people pay more than that for a car, for crying out loud! But as monthly payments to the U.S. Department of Education are once again being automatically deducted from my checking account, I have to ask myself; was it worth it?
Apparently, some of my friends wonder the same thing. I was out with one of them the other night waiting for a drag show to start, mesmerized by men in high heels and fake eyelashes who looked ten times hotter than I did. Out of the blue, my friend looked at me and asked – somewhat disdainfully, I might add – "Why did you even go to grad school?" He was leaving the next day for a three-month contract gig in Germany after a year at Microsoft; it was time for his 100-day break and he was feeling a little feisty.
I was a little bit taken aback, not knowing what to say. In retrospect, why the hell did I go to grad school?
"Well, I’m now qualified to teach at the university level.", I said. He shrugged his shoulders, looking at me with a big "Whoop-dee-doo!" expression on his face.
But…he struck a nerve. Since graduating in June with my MFA (Master of Fine Arts), I’ve been struggling with the perceived indifference in the marketplace regarding the $30,000+ acronym after my name. Indignant to see that people who never even went to college or who went but didn’t complete a four-year degree get chosen over me for design jobs just because they have well-developed Actionscripting skills paired with mediocre design ones (and they say the MFA is the new MBA?? Hmph!). Should I have just bagged my lofty pursuit of higher education and studied Flash for two years instead?
Fortunately, I don’t have to ponder too long to come to a conclusion. The answer to this question is; irrevocably, undeniably, emphatically, NO. I didn’t go to grad school strictly for financial reasons. I didn’t go to gain technical skills. The main reason I went to grad school was for me. I went because I have always been insatiably curious and I love to learn. I went because I’ve known since I was a little kid that I would. I went to meet new people and learn new things. I went to inspire and to be inspired.
And along the way, many wonderful things happened. I was surrounded by extremely smart, talented people who pushed me, as painful as it was sometimes, to be a better writer and designer. I was forced to think a lot, sometimes in, sometimes outside the box. I was forced to articulate my thoughts and opinions in ways that the work world had never required of me. I had the opportunity to examine and explore in ways that I probably never will again (unless I do something crazy, like pursue a Ph.D.). I met great people from around the world with whom I hope to remain lifelong friends.
Not-so-wonderful things happened, too. Mainly, learning how to deal with an uncontrolled, malignant narcissist. But, through that experience, I learned two very important things. First, always, always, always stand up for yourself and what you think is right, regardless of the consequences. There’s nothing worse than a person with no backbone. And second, avoid narcissists at all costs!!! Run like hell, especially from the greasy, slimy ones.
I also grew skeptical of academia, but in awe of it at the same time. A university is a la-la land for a very specific reason: to create a place where intellectual experimentation can flourish. There are few jobs that allow this kind of creative freedom, and for this, I consider my years in graduate school a privileged luxury.
And for having experienced it, I am truly grateful. Flash skills be damned!
Yours truly,
.c